Today my Uncle Jr died. Too be fair we all thought he was faking it. Oh sure he had pneumonia but he was doing his normal stunts when it came to being in the hospital…. only letting one of my relatives be close to him, turning his father away and calling for secuirty, talk about his will… but none of this screamed he was going to actually die. Instead it said he wasn’t that bad. He has done all the same things when he stumped his toe or got, I don’t know a spinter in a juicey area.
So in three days my family will have their first boring funeral. The “fun” has left the building along with Elvis (whom I don’t believe is dead but that is another story). My Uncle Jr was the one who tripped up my father’s coffin as it was being wheeled through the church to be carried outside causing it to lurch, he was the one who picked my grandmother out of the coffin at the church during her’s, climbed in with my great grandmother (although to be fair… I could have those two inverted), the reason we didn’t have an open coffin for my Aunt Glynnus (security reasons) and oh yeah…the stunts at the funeral home. Who can forget the time he assaulted my dad’s gurney to see if his arm had been severed by the drunk driver. Or when the vapors hit him at my Aunt Glynnus’ funeral and he wasn’t able to come back. Granted he was only the Offencive team, Glynnus was Defensive. She would have convultions and the pharmacy had a standing policy if we went to them and told him we had Glynnus at a funeral… we got 3 valium, no questions asked. She was the one to pick off key mourners and make it allll about her. All the poor woman got at her funeral was Jr getting the vapors at the front door, never even made it to the actual room. Now we won’t even get that.
It wasn’t even his fun at funerals that will be missed. It will be his suing of family over many tedious things including estates that still haven’t been settled and the first one to croak was ’64ish. The hospital can’t even prepare his body until they can go to his place and retrieve his wills and see exactly what he wanted. Oh and my favorite two which of course bring nothing but pride and joy to my grandfather (who I am sure is pleased naming his SECOND son after himself instead of his first…). When Jr got arrested for sodomy in a public place and tried claiming it wasn’t him since the blotter didn’t say “JR” and then after that declaring he was a woman trapped in a man’s body. *sniffle* Pride and Joy, joy and pride.
But really at the end of the day, the things I remember that make me overlook his stalking, and borderline child molestation is that when I was younger he would walk thorugh my Granny Fella’s house in wide steps filling the house with gospel music or showtunes at the top of his lungs, grow out his hair which was quite pretty and donate it to Locks of Loveevery time it reached his middle back and when push came to shove he was at Pol’s wedding to be an usher because it was the right thing to do when his aunt asked him. When it would have been easy to not be there for family or make it about him, he didn’t that day (he waited until the day after).
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Should anyone seeing the subject line and think this post was about them…tsk tsk. For truly in comparison to this man you are only a Tiff Princess *smirk*
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